DEADWEIGHT
I was dead for 8 days
In “Deadweight”, I took the responsibility to design my own funeral. This idea came from my habit to always want to take control over anything everywhere I can. But if I’m so determined to take control over everything, I should take control over EVERYTHING. And so I started what would be the very last thing I would ever design: my death.
I decided on a date on which I would die: 18.3.2025.
It was around the 20th of February so I had less than a month to prepare everything.
Funeral Card
After working on the project for some time, my time had come. On March 18th I was working at school until late and my classmates asked me “shouldn’t you be dead by now?” to which I answered, “I got a couple of hours left". As they all left the classroom by 10 PM, I put this invitation in all of their desk drawers.
The Note
As I left the classroom myself, I left this note on my chair. After this, I would be dead.
I didn’t answer any of my classmates messages and wasn’t at school for 8 days.
For some reason, during my drive home I actually got kind of emotional. Not like crying, but I felt very weird and had a sense of relief. All my life I had this fascination of dying at a young age, and I actually sort of turned that into reality.
I got to experience what life after death feels like.
The Coffin
approx. 40x198x60 cm
Plywood & Acrylic Paint
The Closed Casket Funeral
March 26th
1 week post-mortem
I didn’t tell my teachers about my project, neither did I communicate that I wouldn’t be there to converse about it. Because you know… I was dead. And so I was absent while they visited and graded my work. Absence was my strongest asset in all this.
Music
At my funeral, there was no time for a ceremony. Instead, I made a mix with songs I held dear in combination with my own productions.
I would never want everyone to just be crying over some silly sad songs. Of course, there needs to be time to grieve. But who am I to choose what music to grieve on? I would love my people to have a good time, dance and be able to celebrate my life.
Gifts
Wreath
Crochet Flower
Memorial book full of beautiful messages from my classmates.
Gravestone
THE AFTERMATH
This was a very special project in which many, but mostly positive emotions rose. Being dead wasn’t so bad. I had a great time actually. Many people at school who didn’t know what I was working on actually thought I was dead. My friends had to convince them I wasn’t so they wouldn’t have a bad day about it.
The most beautiful feedback I’ve gotten is from a friend who lost his best friend to suicide. He told me that once he received the funeral card, he got to experience it all over again. But this time with a smile on his face.